Gambling is a progressive illness that is often driven by deep seated emotions. It is painful, confusing, frustrating. You may be feeling many emotions and having many destructive thoughts, including suicide. It is sad, but some gamblers arrive at the mistaken conclusion that their families, friends, the world, would be better off without them. If you or someone DEWAPOKER you know is at that point, or close to it, there are a few things to consider.
If you are causing pain to someone, that person must care about you. In a cold world that can use all the love and kindness it can get, that is something special and precious. If someone cares about you enough to be hurt by your gambling, then you have a reason to live. Your death won’t stop his or her pain. That thought pattern is just an indication of how confused a problem gambler can become because of the gambling addiction.
In order to help you to understand the problem better and to get a handle on your feelings and thoughts, let’s separate them. When people act purely for emotional reasons, they often do things that can cause problems later on that could have been avoided if they’d taken the time to think them through. You can do this little exercise while you are alone, so answer the simple questions honestly and as best you can. You are the only person who will see them, so you have nothing to lose and perhaps, something to gain.
Start out by writing a list of ten things you care about in this world or your priorities. If gambling is number one, be honest, put it at the top of the list. If it is second or third, put it there. List the people you care about, your career or goals in life, things you would like to do, anything at all that matters to you, but make sure it is something you care about, not something you think you should care about based on society’s values.
Once you have your list, look it over carefully and rearrange any of the items if you decide they belong in a different order.
The next step is to write a short description, it can even be just a few words, to describe your thoughts, what you think, not feel, about that subject. For instance, let’s say the third thing on your list, the third most important thing in your life, is getting a better job. For your thoughts beside it you might write, “more money would help me to take better care of people I love, more money would give me more time to spend gambling.” Write your thoughts about each item in the list.
Like I said, be honest. As in the example above, you may have more than one thought and they may even seem to conflict with each other.
Next, take some time and write down your feelings about each of the thoughts you just wrote down. In the example above you said you thought it would give you more time with your family. Your feeling about that might be, “I feel guilty because even when I am with them I am thinking about gambling.” Guilt is a feeling. We are separating thoughts and feelings, but also relating them to each other. So write your feelings, whatever they may be, beside each thought.
You have a thinking mind and a feeling mind, your conscious mind and your subconscious. A lot of the confusion people suffer from in life is that their thoughts and feelings, their subconscious and conscious, may be in conflict. An example of that is, “I feel like going to the casino tonight, but I know I should spend time with my kids.” One part of you feels one thing while another part thinks something that is in conflict.
In the battle between the subconscious feeling mind and the conscious thinking mind, the subconscious usually wins, in the long run. So it is important, in order to get your behavior under control, to find a stronger emotion to make you want to do the same things you think you should do. Writing down your feelings and thoughts is how you start that process.
For many people with addictions, finally changing the behavior often only happens after he or she has hit rock bottom and has suffered and caused so much pain, that there is a strong emotional pull to correct the situation or to ease the pain. While that happens to many people, it doesn’t have to happen in order for you to change if you can start separating thoughts and feelings and really taking a good look at them.